


Remember Me

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eruri Week, Friendship, Love, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Memories, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3095333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time, it's Levi's turn to offer Erwin a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> A short story for Eruri week - Day One: Memories. This story contains manga spoilers.

Erwin made his usual evening tour of the ramparts, taking pride in the orderly appearance of the guards who saluted him smartly as he passed. Nile and Marie had invited him to dinner under the pretext, this time, of celebrating Midwinter’s Day, even if it was a few days too late. Erwin smiled to himself. He knew that they thought they were taking pity on a lonely old bachelor. He’d lost count of the number of Marie’s single friends who had ‘happened to be passing’ on days he was visiting, but recently the numbers had dwindled. Perhaps both Nile and Marie had finally accepted that Erwin really was happy alone, as he’d always professed to be. It was certainly pleasant to share a meal and good conversation with his old friends and to enjoy the company of the children, but it no longer made him long for a family of his own. Serving the people and ensuring the safety of King Rod had been a fulfilling career. There was no need to want anything more.

Back in his quarters, Erwin hung up his jacket, frowning as he noticed a bit of lint just above the quartered rose and unicorn patch on the breast pocket. Brushing it away, he turned towards the bathroom, intending to wash before changing into civilian clothes for his visit to Nile’s, when a low voice said behind him, “Hello, Erwin.”

Although he’d never been one to startle easily, there was something in the quality of the voice that stirred the hairs on the back of Erwin’s neck, and tightened his chest strangely. He turned without haste, and saw, crouching on the windowsill, a small, dark-haired man, dressed in an odd parody of military uniform, embellished, if that was the word, with a bizarre arrangement of leather straps, like a kind of harness. The stranger carried a small metal case in one hand.

“Who are you?” Erwin asked, glad that his voice sounded calm and authoritative. “What are you doing in my room?”

The man’s expression changed subtly, a brief flicker of pain in his eyes, a twist to his lips as though he’d tasted something bitter.

“You won’t remember me,” he said, jumping down from the windowsill with surprising agility for a man who surely couldn’t be many years younger than Erwin. “I’m Levi.”

Erwin didn’t remember, but the name chimed oddly with him as though it ought to be familiar.

“Levi,” he repeated. “Levi.”

The man called Levi drew in a sharp breath. “Yes.”

“What do you want, Levi?”

Levi looked at him for a long moment without replying. “I want – to give you a choice,” he said at last.

“What kind of a choice?”

“I’ll explain. You should probably sit down.”

Erwin shook his head. “I’m fine here. Tell me.”

“All right. You won’t – I doubt you’ll believe me anyway.” Levi indicated the patch on his jacket, and for the first time Erwin registered that the symbol it bore was neither the crossed swords of the Training Corps, nor the roses and unicorns of the Garrison Guard, but something silver and blue that looked like feathers – wings? Erwin frowned, feeling suddenly vaguely disorientated in a way that was similar to the onset of one of his frequent migraines. “What is that?” he asked, rubbing his temple.

“The Wings of Freedom. The symbol of the Survey Corps.”

“There’s no such corps. I ought to know.”

Levi’s smile lacked any trace of humour. “Yeah. You should. But they took that from you. Two years ago, you, and I, and a whole lot of other people you mostly don’t remember, fought a war, and lost. After that, the Reiss family altered the memories of almost the whole human race. You were the commander of the Survey Corps. We were a group of soldiers insane enough to leave the walls to fight titans. We wanted to free humanity from the walls. You wanted to discover the truths our rulers had been hiding from us.”

“This is preposterous!”

“It must seem like that. But it’s true. Erwin - how did you lose your arm?”

Erwin looked down at his pinned shirtsleeve. “In a training accident, when I was nineteen. Luckily, it hasn’t damaged my career.”

“No. You lost it to a titan, trying to save Eren Jaeger from Berthold and Reiner.”

“None of that means anything to me.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here.” Levi laid the case he was carrying on Erwin’s bed, and opened it carefully. Inside was a syringe filled with a cloudy liquid. Erwin took a step back. “What the hell –”

“I told you – it’s a choice. I’m not going force you to do anything. For the last two years, Mikasa and I have been living in the underground, hiding from the Central Military Police. You won’t remember them either - or Mikasa, come to that. None of this will make any sense, unless you choose…”

Erwin swallowed. He felt no real fear – it was apparent that Levi didn’t intend to hurt him - but the man was clearly deranged. Erwin would have called the guard, if it weren’t for the way his head was beginning to ache, and the strange, nagging sense that there was something familiar about this weird little man – the syringe – the name _Levi_ …

“What’s the choice?”

“Inject yourself with this, and you’ll remember everything. We think they won’t be able to alter your memory again. It’s taken us two years to develop this serum. Our bloodline – the Ackerman line - was one of the few unaffected by the Reiss family’s power to alter memories. If you make that choice, you’ll remember a world much… less pleasant than this one. If you decide not to use the serum, you only have to go to the king and tell him that Levi Ackerman offered you this choice, and he’ll make damn sure you forget everything about me, and this whole encounter. Your life will continue just as it has been – just as you _think_ it has been for years. Your nice, neat uniform – the king’s praise – your cosy little dinners with Nile and Marie…”

“How do you know about the dinners?”

Levi sighed. “I watch you, sometimes. I won’t apologize for that. We were – friends. It’s all I’ve had.”

“That’s why you want me to remember?”

“I want you to remember so that you can help me decide what to do. I don’t know what’s best. Were we right to fight at all? The world is at peace, now. No one leaves the walls. They used the coordinate to make titans block the outer gates. We’re safe. With Wall Maria reclaimed, there’s enough food, as long as the population is carefully controlled – although how long that policy will work… No one in the general population even remembers the Survey Corps. Those of us who still remember – well, we believe in freedom - but is even freedom worth the pain of making people remember that past, now that the present is peaceful? I don’t know. Maybe you won’t know either. I wasn’t even sure that I should offer you this choice, but…”

“Go on.”

Levi looked into Erwin’s eyes. “I know the old you – the _real_ you – would have wanted this. You spent your whole life trying to discover the truth.”

“With disastrous consequences, by the sound of it.”

“Yeah. Can’t deny that. It was a fucking mess. And the truth is, if you take the serum, it’s going to hurt.”

“I think I can stand –”

“I’m not talking about the physical pain. You’ll remember the guilt. You’ll remember everyone who died following your orders. Old friends you probably don’t know existed. Remember Mike Zacharias?”

Erwin looked angry for the first time. “Of course I remember Mike, you manipulative bastard! He died of a fever four years ago! How dare you –”

“- Killed by titans, creating a diversion so that his squad could get away. That’s what we deduced, anyway. We never found a body. You see, Erwin, I don’t know what they did to your memories. I don’t know exactly what you remember, and what you don’t. They knew you were an excellent commander. They’ve obviously given you a life that lets you use your talents to serve the king. The people are happy. There aren’t nearly as many poor in the underground as there used to be – not yet, anyway. It might be best to leave things as they are. I’m not here to tell you to take the serum – only to give you that choice.”

Erwin looked at the syringe on the bed. “That could be anything. Poison. You could be a madman.”

“Yeah. But it’s not. I’m not. You gave me a choice once – go back to the underground, or fight the titans. I chose to follow you, Erwin. This time, I’m giving you the choice.”

Erwin crossed the room to Levi and gripped his jaw, tilting his head upwards so Levi was forced to look up into his eyes. Levi made no move to resist. He held Erwin’s gaze, resolute. Erwin let him go, without breaking eye contact. When he spoke, his voice was less certain than it had been before. “You - said we were friends?”

“Yes.”

“I… think we were.”

“You remember something?” Levi’s expression was so desperately hopeful that Erwin was sure he was telling the truth – or, at least, what he believed to be the truth.

“I don’t remember anything. But I _feel_ – I feel that I have known you.” Erwin went to the bed, and picked up the syringe. “You say we were friends. You say the truth is painful. But you still want me to use this?”

Levi’s jaw tightened, but he nodded. “Yes.”

“Why? It seems to me that you’ve already answered your own question about what to do. Even if this world is some kind of illusion, it _is_ a peaceful one. What good would remembering do, unless you’re planning a revolution?”

“I don’t have any definite plans. We only believe – those few of us who still remember – that it’s important to keep the truth alive. For now the world inside the walls is peaceful and its rulers have the power to control the titans. But what might happen in the future – if the population grows – if the power of control is lost? This gear I’m wearing was developed to fight titans, but there’s almost no one left with intact memories of how to make it - how to use it. It could be that all we ought to do is make records – leave future generations the knowledge of what we remember. Hell - we could even start our own cult to pass down the information like some kind of secret version of the Wallists! But you won’t remember them.” Levi moved to stand in front of Erwin, looking down at the syringe he held. “I was never much of a strategist. Your strategies may have failed in the end – but that’s because we never had enough information. We were always fighting in the dark. But I trust you – the _real_ you – the one this serum will bring back. I still believe you want what’s best for humanity - that you, more than anyone else, might be able to work out what to do for the best.” Levi hesitated, looking up at Erwin. “And – I miss you.”

Erwin contemplated the syringe. “The truth is, this life – this… what you claim is an illusion that I remember as being my life - hasn’t been what I might have hoped. But it has been peaceful. I’ve been - content. What you seem to be saying is that this serum contains a violent kind of awakening.”

“Yeah. Violence was always at the heart of it. Horror. Loss. I’m not offering you memories of a better past. Only a _true_ one.”

Erwin sighed, and handed the syringe to Levi.

Slowly, Levi’s fingers closed around it. “You’ve made your decision, then?”

“I have.” Although he had no memories of his supposed former friend, Erwin was profoundly moved by the despairing look that Levi managed to suppress a moment too late for concealment.

“All right. I can’t blame you. I won’t try to change your mind, Erwin. If this life has made you happy –”

“I can’t inject myself with only one arm. I assume it goes into the arm?”

This time, Levi’s struggle was to hide his elation. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. I want the truth. I don’t know why, beyond a gut feeling - but I believe you when you say that this serum holds it.”

Levi unbuttoned the cuff of Erwin’s shirt, pushed up the sleeve, and took Erwin’s wrist in his hand, steadying his arm, so he could inject the serum into the vein on the inside of his elbow. Erwin didn’t flinch as the liquid ran cold into his body. Levi put the empty syringe back into its case, and waited. There was no dramatic moment of transformation. Erwin seemed to feel no physical ill effects from the serum. He only sat rather heavily on the edge of the bed, and covered his eyes with his hand. “I’d… forgotten what I did to my father… I’d forgotten there were so many dead!”

“I’m sorry,” Levi said.

Erwin took two shuddering breaths, and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. Levi put a tentative hand on his shoulder.

Erwin turned and pulled him into a crushing embrace. “I’d forgotten _you_ , Levi!”

“I know,” Levi said, his voice muffled against Erwin’s chest.

Erwin didn’t let him go. “How could I have forgotten you?”

“They wiped every trace of me from your mind. They’d like to wipe us all out of existence if they could – all those of us who can remember.”

Erwin’s kiss was as fierce as his embrace. “Thank you. For bringing me back. For not giving up.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d thank me. I thought you might regret -”

“I would have wanted the truth, even without you – without _us_. If I’d never woken up – if I’d never remembered… You told me we were _friends_ , Levi?”

“I couldn’t tell you the rest. I couldn’t put that in the balance. You had to want the truth badly enough that you’d take it, even if it was nothing but bad. I couldn’t have done it to you otherwise. And yes, Erwin, - _friends_. Before anything else.”

Erwin touched the emblem on the breast pocket of Levi’s jacket, over his heart. “You’re right. My dearest friend.”

Levi put his arms around Erwin and rested his head against his chest. He knew, as Erwin knew, that this was no simple happy ending, but the start of a new struggle. The choices to be made now were even harder and more complex than they’d been before. In a little while, he would have to go back to the underground, to report the success of his mission to Mikasa and the others. Erwin would have to keep his dinner engagement with Nile and Marie and behave as though nothing had changed, avoiding suspicion until necessary decisions had been taken.

In a little while the effects of the choice he had offered, and Erwin had made, would perhaps begin to ripple outwards into the peaceful, false world that the Reiss family had created - for better, or for worse.

For this moment, though, Levi closed his eyes and listened to Erwin’s steady heartbeat, breathing in Erwin’s familiar scent, comforted by the warmth of the lover and friend he had missed for two long years.

In a little while -

But not yet. Not quite yet.


End file.
